WMMG Chapter 114

[Nanashi’s POV]

My name is Nanashi. Mother named me that, wishing I would grow up to be wise, knowing seven things.

When Mother calls my name, sometimes he looks incredibly nostalgic, as if he’s gazing at something far away that’s long gone. Each time he made that face, I felt an inexplicable tightness in my chest.

“Mother, do you dislike me?”

When I turned seven, I gathered the courage to ask him. At that moment, he looked deeply hurt.

“Of course not, why would you think that?”

Despite his words of denial, my sadness did not fade.

I have six siblings, but I look like neither my father nor my brother. My hair ends curl in every direction, and the corners of my eyes droop sharply.

Even the color of my eyes is a deep blue, darker than anyone’s, like the bottom of a lake where light can’t reach. Every time he saw my eyes, Mother would say, “You must have gotten that from me,” but his expression seemed faintly sorrowful.

My mother, father, and siblings are all kind to me. But as I grew up, a strange sense of alienation filled my heart, as if I were a mismatched puzzle piece being forced into the wrong puzzle, and that discomfort only grew.

Whenever I couldn’t bear the discomfort, I would sneak out of the castle. I’d wander the town without purpose, climb trees in the forest, or lie on the grassland looking up at the sky. Watching the birds fly far away, I wished to go to the ends of the world. I believed that if I went to a place where no one knew me, this miserable feeling of alienation would disappear.

Or if there was someone else in the world who shared this loneliness, could we share this indescribable sadness? Would I then no longer be alone?

Sniffling against the encroaching loneliness, I continued to walk towards the far distance until the day turned to dusk.

And the first to find me when I ran away from home were always my fathers. As I wept in desolation this time, Father Noah picked me up with a cheerful laugh.

“You’ve walked quite a distance today. Nanashi has quite strong legs.”

Clinging to Father Noah’s shoulders and crying, Father Temeraire stroked my head.

“Don’t you want to go back yet?”

To Father Temeraire’s question, I shook my head from side to side.

“Ca-can I go back…?”

Hearing my hoarse voice, both Father Noah and Father Temeraire wore a somewhat sad expression.

“Of course you can come back.”

“Your house is that castle,” they all say to me, yet even though my father and mother cherish me so dearly, why is it that my heart remains stitched with loneliness, unable to come undone? I have a wonderful family and have been raised without hardship, yet what am I lacking? What is missing? Not understanding this myself feels maddening, frustrating, and unbearably empty.

While being held by Father Noah, I cried out loud, and then I heard someone calling me.

“Nanashi!” 

Mother approached with a frantic expression. Lifted from Father Noah’s arms, he hugged me tightly.

“Please, don’t go anywhere…”

The words were directed at me, but at the same time, they sounded like a prayer offered to someone far away.

Father Noah and Father Temeraire looked on at me and Mother with complex expressions.

Feeling the deep hole in my heart, I looked up at the distant sky over Mother’s shoulder.

* * *

A few days later, my brother Mitsuki appeared at the dinner table, exclaiming excitedly.

“Goat is coming back!”

Behind the buoyant Mitsuki was the ever-present Shion, like a guardian spirit. Uncharacteristically, Shion seemed sullen – he doesn’t usually wear his emotions on his sleeve.

Oblivious to Shion’s mood, Mitsuki continued cheerfully.

“He’s returning to the capital in three days for his meritorious service in sweeping Edira! The demon vice-commander is coming back!”

Despite the ominous title “demon,” Mitsuki seemed overjoyed. He was seventeen and yet hopping around the place without a hint of composure.

Edira refers to the remnants of a faction born from the Goldar internal conflict. Initially aiming for regime restoration, they ended up as mere bandits, repeatedly invading the borders and causing harm even to this Jeweld.

The frontier army had confronted them several times, but they always fled into the mountains, making it difficult to eradicate them. But now, it seems they have finally been swept away.

Watching Mitsuki bounce around, Itsuka scowled in disgust.

“Did you two take a bath? You’re getting dust all over the food.”

Itsuka gestured as if shooing them away. Indeed, Mitsuki was terribly dirty, likely just after training.

Mitsuki and Shion, who joined the army at fourteen, now lead their own squad. The combative Mitsuki excels in breakthroughs, while the calm Shion compensates for Mitsuki’s recklessness. The twin princes, who are making their mark in the army, are well-known. Indeed, they will rise to the rank of generals someday.

At Itsuka’s words, Mitsuki wrinkled his nose in annoyance.

“Shut up, we don’t get this dirty in the army,” he grumbled.

“Can you not bring military habits to the dinner table, please?”

Itsuka retorted with a snappy voice. Having turned thirteen this year, Itsuka had been clashing with Mitsuki more often since passing the age of ten. This was because after meeting the beautiful Queen Yuria of the neighboring country Goldal, Itsuka had developed an even stronger admiration for beautiful women. Indeed, a strong and beautiful queen is the polar opposite of a rough and brash soldier.

Even now, on Itsuka’s lap sits a doll made in the image of Queen Yuria, crafted upon the insistent requests to the wives of Battalion Commander Tyet.

Observing the exchange between Itsuka and Mitsuki, the eldest son, twenty-two-year-old brother Ichiya, raised his voice. “Both of you, please do not fight during the meal,” he said calmly but clearly. At the sound of his voice, Mitsuki and Itsuka instantly straightened up. We siblings know well that our kind and wise brother, Ichiya, can be the most intimidating when he gets angry.

Brother Ichiya, who has been involved in governmental affairs since his youth, is more tolerant and sagacious than any of us, yet he can make merciless decisions when necessary. He knows that not everything can be solved with mere idealism. This trait is what makes him the rightful future king.

Sitting beside Brother Ichiya, our sister Futaba spoke gently, “I understand you’re happy that Goat-san is returning, but first, Mitsuki and Shion, you two should go bathe.” At sister Futaba’s admonishing words, Mitsuki nodded with a slightly disheartened droop of the shoulders. Seeing her brother’s honest reaction, sister Futaba let a tender smile grace her lips.

Sister Futaba, who turned nineteen this year, had been engaged to a prince from Goldar for several years. Whenever she received an ardent marriage proposal from the boy six years her junior, she would tilt her head slightly, perplexed, and say, “I wonder if I’m really suitable for him.” Nitsuki, who had been puffing his cheeks full of food, looked up at this.

“Who’s Goat?” he asked.

Nitsuki, who had just turned ten, is my much more innocent older brother. He loves to eat and has a plump physique like a round steamed bun.

He has a friendly nature and melts into a soft smile when he gets food, which makes everyone want to give him treats. Because of this, our mother had to sternly warn those around us not to mindlessly give food to Nitsuki. Especially when it comes to spoiling children, Kiki, who is a genius at it, was strictly told to spoil only her own daughter.

In response to Nitsuki’s question, Sister Futaba said gently, “Goat-san was originally an aide to our mother. He served as a vice commander in the regular army and is very strong.”

“Before Nanashi was born, he went to the frontier army to strengthen the border defense. It seems that due to his achievements there, he’s now returning to the capital,” said Brother Ichiya, glancing at me with an inscrutable look. I felt a slight flutter in my heart under his probing gaze. Mitsuki, who had been downcast until a moment ago, raised his voice excitedly.

“Goat, you see, is not only a strategist but also skilled in combat, and he’s utterly relentless when it comes to training his subordinates. He’d have them run from morning till night with thirty kilos of gear, not even allowing them to stop if they vomit. Shion and I have been kicked in the butt by him while he laughed, countless times,” Mitsuki boasted, his skin crawling just hearing about it. Despite the content of his speech, Mitsuki’s eyes sparkled with admiration. Behind him, Shion radiated a sullen aura, with even a faint clicking of his tongue heard.

At Mitsuki’s words, Brother Ichiya heaved a big sigh. “Mitsuki, choose your words more carefully; we’re at the dinner table,” he chided. At that, Mitsuki’s lips snapped shut. Brother Ichiya lectured, “Moreover, Goat isn’t coming back as a vice commander.”

“Eh!?” Mitsuki exclaimed in shock, his face a picture of disbelief. Without looking at his astonished expression, Brother Ichiya continued calmly, “Goat is returning to instruct the new recruits. Also, he will be taking over Nanashi’s swordsmanship training.”

At the sudden mention of my name, I jerked, causing a piece of vegetable to fall from my fork back onto the plate. Mitsuki turned to me and shouted, “Why only Nanashi!? What about me!?”

Behind the disgruntled Mitsuki, Shion’s lips twisted into a sly smile. Shion is usually quiet, but his feelings about Mitsuki are incredibly transparent.

“You’re already in a position to lead a unit,” Brother Ichiya said with a tone of exasperation. “Nanashi needs a teacher to start from the basics of swordsmanship.”

“And what about Nitsuki?” Mitsuki gestured at Nitsuki, whose mouth was dirty with sauce. “Before swordsmanship, Nitsuki first needs to… build some basic physical strength…” Watching Nitsuki’s plump cheeks, Brother Ichiya spoke slightly awkwardly.

Indeed, it’s hard to imagine Nitsuki using a sword; he might accidentally cut off a hand or foot when he picks one up.

Oblivious to being the topic of discussion, Nitsuki, with a relaxed smile, said, “I’m scared of swords, so no thank you.” As he shook his head from side to side, his cheek flesh jiggling, everyone watched Nitsuki’s laid-back reaction, and Mitsuki deflated in resignation.

I let out a small voice while still looking at Brother Ichiya.

“But, do I have to learn swordsmanship?” I asked, not because I dislike learning swordsmanship. Instead, I felt unworthy of being taught anything by anyone, wondering if I had the right to be here. Seeing my confused expression, Brother Ichiya gave a gentle smile.

“You’re not obliged to become a soldier just because you learn swordsmanship. It’s better to learn as much as possible to choose your path without hesitation when necessary. Like us, Nanashi, you have the freedom to choose your own way,” Brother Ichiya implied that just as he was aiming for the throne, and Mitsuki and Shion had become soldiers, a blank path lay ahead of me too. But I needed to figure out where to set foot on this empty path.

As I looked down, overwhelmed by insecurity, Sister Futaba, sitting next to me, patted my back.

“You don’t need to overthink it. Just remember, no matter which path Nanashi chooses, our father, our mother, we siblings, we all want to respect your choice. And remember, no matter where you go, you can always come back here,” Sister Futaba continued mischievously, “Just allow us to worry about you,” she added with a gentle voice that tightened my chest slightly.

When I nodded in response, Brother Ichiya and Sister Futaba relaxed their expressions. Only Mitsuki still looked unconcerned, nudging my shoulder and saying, “Brace yourself for getting puked on by Goat.”

* * *

Three days later, I met with the demon’s vice commander. As Mother led me to the room for the introduction, my body was tense.

I had confirmed with several soldiers beforehand what kind of person Vice-Captain Goat was, and everyone paled when they heard his name.

“Vice-Captain Goat is your swordsmanship instructor!? Oh, may Nanashi-sama remain safe and sound…!”

“Dear God… why must such a small child be subjected to this trial…”

I could imagine how fearsome a person Goat must be, watching the soldiers begin to pray with tears in their eyes. Moreover, Mother’s hand, gripping my frozen one, was sweaty. When I looked up, I saw Mother’s face strained with tension.

“Mother?”

At my call, he looked down at me with a startle.

“What’s wrong?”

The expression with which he smiled at me was oddly stiff.

“Mother, do you also find that person difficult to deal with?”

When I asked quietly, Mother laughed as if troubled.

“It’s not that I find him difficult. It’s just that it’s been a while since I’ve seen him.”

He joked as if a bit nervous, but his voice was still firmer than usual.

While we were talking, we arrived in front of the room. Seeing Mother reach for the doorknob, my heart started to thump unpleasantly. When the door opened, I could see a man with tousled hair standing in the center of the room. The man turned around. For some reason, my breath stopped for a moment. His droopy eyes were staring intently at me.

“Goat.”

Mother uttered the name faintly. At that moment, the man called Goat let out a slack, carefree smile.

“Well well, Captain Ogami. Has it been eight years? It has really been a long time.”

His lax tone carried none of the demon-like ferocity the soldiers spoke of. Instead, he had the air of a friendly older brother. Seeing the cheerful Goat, Mother visibly relaxed, letting the tension fall from his shoulders.

“You’re the same as ever.”

“Have you stayed the cool guy you were, even after eight years?”

“I didn’t say anything like that.”

While speaking casually, Mother let out a small laugh from the back of his throat. Then, he let go of my hand and extended it towards Goat.

“It’s good, you came back.”

There was something profound and emotional seeping into his voice. Goat looked at the offered hand for a moment before grabbing it. He then smiled broadly and said.

“Ah, I’ve returned. Did you miss me?” he asked with a playful arrogance.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve been quite refreshed not having to deal with your cheeky banter,” he retorted with a dismissive air.

“That’s harsh. Those are your words for a man who struggled with all his might to come back here?” Goat feigned crying, sniffling dramatically as he wiped his eyes with one hand.

Seeing Goat’s exaggerated antics, Mother let out an unrestrained laugh, a clear ring in his voice. He patted Goat on the shoulder and said, “I always knew we’d meet again.”

Goat’s eyes widened slightly at his strong voice. After staring intently at Mother, Goat gave a wry smile tinged with a bit of trouble. “You’re as wicked as ever,” he accused with a gaze that seemed to hold a bit of grudge, to which Mother responded with a smile mixed with a hint of a grimace. “Let’s both be thankful to Noah and Temeraire.”

“Well, yes. They gave me a firm talking-to just a while ago. ‘Don’t get the wrong idea. This isn’t for you,’ they said.”

“They are much wiser parents than someone like me,” he admitted with a nod toward the greater wisdom of the other two.

“In many ways, I can’t hold a candle to those two,” Goat said, tracing his throat with his index finger, implying their superiority. At that, Mother frowned for a moment but then burst out laughing, and together they laughed heartily.

Above me, a strange conversation unfolded that I couldn’t understand at all. As I looked around, bewildered, Goat suddenly dropped his gaze to me. Startled by his sudden attention, I couldn’t help but flinch. Goat knelt on one knee and looked up at me from below.

“You must be Nanashi-sama,” he said.

“Yes,” I replied, clutching my chest to calm my racing heart. For some reason, I found it impossible to meet the eyes of the man before me.

Suddenly, something warm touched the hands that were gripping my shirt. Holding my hands tight, Goat whispered, praying, “I’ve wanted to meet you.”

The words were like those whispered to a lover. In Goat’s tender gaze, there seemed to be pure kindness and affection.

“Why is that?” I asked, puzzled.

He and I were supposed to be strangers. Yet, I couldn’t comprehend why he would want to meet me.

In response to my question, Goat’s face broke into a cry-laugh expression and said, “Why indeed… Ah, perhaps because I was lonely too.” His tone was playful, but his words carried the weight of genuine sentiment. Clasping my hands firmly, Goat whispered in a raspy voice, “I’ve been praying to meet you.”

At those words, I instinctively looked up. Suddenly, I caught sight of slightly moistened blue eyes, a deep blue reminiscent of the bottom of a lake, much like my own. For some reason, the moment I saw those eyes, the loneliness festering in my chest felt like it had begun to dissolve slightly. Perhaps the man before me was the one I had been searching for all along, someone who shared the same solitude.

As I gazed absentmindedly at Goat, Mother unexpectedly tapped me on the shoulder. “Get changed into something comfortable. I’ll be accompanying you to today’s training. Can’t have you bullied by this one on your first day.”

At Mother’s words, Goat’s eyebrows drooped in dismay. “Oh, I won’t bully anyone. That sounds terrible.” 

“Do you know how many soldiers there are traumatized by just seeing your face? There are those who gag at the mere mention of the name Vice-Captain Goat,” he retorted.

“If they’re traumatized by that level of training, they were never suited to be soldiers in the first place. Even Captain Ogami said so. Weed out the weak, only keep those who rise through the vomit,” Goat replied.

“That was during the war. Just don’t increase the number of those with trauma,” Mother replied, exasperated. Goat laughed out loud at that, and as I heard his clear laughter, I bowed and left the room to change.

However, as I left the room, I heard Mother’s voice addressing Goat. “Hey, what did you say to me when you were leaving the capital? I couldn’t hear what was said from so far away,” Mother stated.

Goat replied with a light-hearted voice, “Prepare yourself.”

“Prepare?”

“I decided to be optimistic. I will live longer than Noah-sama or Temeraire. That way, I can take everything without any reservations. Haven’t I said so? I’m stubborn,” Goat proclaimed.

Just before I closed the door, I heard Goat whisper, “Hey, Yuichiro-san,” followed by Mother’s heavy sigh.

***