KCDT Chapter 40

Haniel, who had raised his head as Yujin fell silent, hastily shook his head and hands simultaneously at Yujin’s serious expression.

“I-I’m fine! It’s not scary at all!”

‘You’re basically saying it is scary. Damn it.’

How could a child, regardless of his own situation, prioritize saying the right thing to be considerate of him?

“Yu-Yujin-nim?”

As Yujin inwardly screamed while covering his face with both hands, an idea popped into his head.

‘But is it okay to say this? Won’t it ruin the kid’s upbringing?’

He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he might ruin a good child, but that was short-lived. Seeing Haniel constantly hovering around him and even trying to use his ability, thinking that Yujin was in pain because he was covering his face, Yujin made up his mind.

‘Yeah. The kid grew up kind despite the abuse from those old farts.’

“Ah, you don’t have to heal me.”

“Are you alright? That’s a relief. I was worried that you were in pain because of me.”

At the bright smile, saying it was a relief, Yujin made up his mind once again. Rather, if Haniel was this kind, wouldn’t it be better for him to be a little twisted?

“You know, about what we were talking about earlier.”

“Yes.”

Haniel obediently waited for Yujin’s words. Yujin, once again fueling his anger towards the old farts for doing such a thing to a child like this, answered.

“If the grandfathers or other people keep scolding you even after you apologized for a mistake, just ignore them.”

“What?”

Ignore them? Haniel was surprised, his eyes widening at the words he never even thought of. As his round eyes looked cute, Yujin pinched his cheeks for a moment and continued.

“Hmm, is ignoring a bit too much for Haniel?”

“Yes, yes.”

Ignore the Fathers? He was so shocked that just hearing those words made his heart race rapidly.

‘Is even this too hard for him…? Well, the kid is just that kind.’

Clicking his tongue inwardly at the reaction that was more intense than he expected, Yujin suggested a different approach instead.

“Then refute them in your mind.”

“Re-fute?”

As Haniel tilted his head, unable to imagine what he was supposed to do, Yujin continued his explanation.

“For example, if someone asks why you can’t even do this one thing properly, what would you say?”

“I would apologize for being an inadequate person.”

Yujin was momentarily at a loss for words at the face that looked proud as if he had given the correct answer.

‘I thought maybe I shouldn’t do this, but I guess it’s okay.’

Rather, Yujin could firmly make up his mind because Haniel was so foolishly kind that it was regrettable he couldn’t use the method of ignoring them. To the point where it seemed like he wouldn’t become twisted just by internally badmouthing someone.

“I-I see. But I told you earlier, right? You don’t need to apologize for something that’s not your fault.”

“Yes…”

“No, I’m not scolding you, so don’t look so down. Yes. So if someone says something like why you can’t even do this properly, even if you apologize outwardly, just say this one thing in your mind: ‘So what?'”

It seemed that what Haniel needed was a change in mindset. He wanted Haniel to ignore those people who didn’t even act like adults, but since he wasn’t that type of person, wasn’t changing his mindset the priority?

“If I say such a thing, won’t it hurt them?”

“That’s why you’re only saying it in your mind. Anyway, you’re not doing it even if you think that way, it’s for your sake. For your sake, who gets scolded for things that aren’t your fault.”

“For my sake…?”

For his own sake? Haniel, whose very existence was to convey God’s will, had always lived to serve God and the believers. But to live for himself?

‘It-it feels strange…’

His heart clenched as if he had committed a grave sin, and his heart raced rapidly. But it didn’t feel entirely unpleasant.

“I wish I could say something on your behalf, but since I can’t be with you… So could you do it for me, thinking that it’s what I would say?”

Yujin offered himself up, thinking that this much might be too much for Haniel based on his lack of response. Haniel, being foolishly altruistic, wouldn’t be able to ignore it if he was told to think of it as Yujin’s words.

‘I’m trash for taking advantage of this aspect of him… But still, I’m better than the real trash.’

And above all, he could say that it was fundamentally different because he was doing it out of a desire for Haniel to no longer be swayed by those bastards.

“You’re doing this for my sake, Yujin-nim…?”

Upon hearing those words, Haniel’s heart began to beat faster and stronger. To the point where he didn’t even register the part about not being able to be together. But even as Haniel pressed his racing heart with both hands, he couldn’t take his eyes off Yujin.

Although Haniel was born with a precious body, he had always been told to the point of his ears developing calluses that it was for God and the believers.

He thought it was only natural because he was God’s proxy and the only vessel that could hold God, but now receiving Yujin’s unconditional love solely for himself, it felt like his heart would burst.

‘I-I shouldn’t be like this… I’m for the people…’

He tried to calm his fluttering heart, but to no avail. Just by making eye contact with Yujin, who was looking at him with genuine concern, his face heated up and his heart raced so fast that his chest ached.

‘What do I do? I feel like my heart will explode…’

Haniel’s eyes welled up with tears at the thought that he might die from his heart bursting at this rate.

“Huh, what? You’re crying? Do you hate it that much? I’m sorry. If you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to force yourself, so don’t cry, okay?”

Yujin, who misunderstood Haniel’s tears that had welled up because the complete love and concern he was feeling for the first time was unfamiliar, began to panic. Haniel had to tell him that wasn’t the case, but he felt like his heart would spill out if he opened his mouth, so he only tightly closed his eyes.

“Oh no, I’m sorry. I was wrong. I was a bad person.”

Thinking that Haniel must have hated it that much, Yujin hurriedly cursed himself and apologized, but Haniel shook his head as if to say that wasn’t it.

“What, that’s not it? Then why… No, no. I’m not interrogating you. Yes. Oh dear, don’t cry.”

Now that Haniel started crying outright, Yujin felt like crying himself and hastily picked him up.

While muttering curses inwardly at Haniel’s light weight for his age, Yujin comforted and soothed him for a long time while maintaining a smiling face.

Perhaps thanks to being held, Yujin, who felt Haniel’s breathing calm down, spoke softly.

“If you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to force yourself. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to do it.”

“…But you said it was for my sake.”

Relieved that he received a response, Yujin continued in a casual voice.

“But what’s the point of it being for your sake if you don’t like it?”

“Does it matter if I don’t like it?”

“Of…! Course it does.”

Barely holding back from raising his voice at the shocking answer, Yujin answered in a lowered voice.

A child at an age where they should be self-centered and need to be taught otherwise was asking if his opinion mattered. Yujin closed his eyes tightly before opening them.

“You don’t need to force yourself to do something you don’t like. It’s your feelings. You should cherish them.”

“Am I… Am I precious to you, Yujin-nim?”

“What?”

He meant for Haniel to cherish himself, but he couldn’t say no here either. He wasn’t trash. Yujin was momentarily flustered by the sudden question but soon nodded as if it were obvious.

“Of course you’re precious.”

Those words, said as if they were only natural, took root in a corner of Haniel’s heart.

‘Precious… He says I’m precious…’

***

‘Tsk. It’s the same here or there.’

Yujin clicked his tongue, furrowing his brows as he recalled the old farts who had made Haniel foolishly kind in the past, although he seemed a bit different now.

“For now, let’s rest today. We can take our time deciding where to go.”

There was no need to choose between the three options. Although he said he was a bit tired now, Yujin was a physically healthy adult man. It meant he could make a living on his own as much as he wanted.

So the priority was to figure out how this world worked first.

‘If worse comes to worst, I’ll have to take all the kids with me.’

Since it wasn’t a definite future yet, Yujin, who kept his mouth shut, decided to put off things like the Emperor and the temple.

However, Urich tried to persuade Yujin, saying what if the Emperor suddenly turned around and started causing harm.

“…It’s quiet, though?”

“That old fart isn’t the type to do that…”

But unlike Urich’s fuss disguised as a tantrum, even after a few more days had passed since that day, the Emperor was quiet.

As if he didn’t know of Yujin’s existence. Urich, who knew well that the Emperor wasn’t that type of person, couldn’t let go of his suspicions.

‘Could it be that he’s plotting something?’

Suddenly, such doubts arose, but he soon shook his head. No matter how authoritarian and proud the Emperor was, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything reckless when the three of them were by Yujin’s side.

‘Besides, that guy’s reaction is also…’

Urich’s narrowed gaze turned to Cairo. Shouldn’t someone who should have shown displeasure long ago be too peaceful? He must have used some kind of trick.

And that was just as Urich had predicted.

***

A few days ago, on the day of the commotion. It was the time when even the palace, which exuded a splendid radiance, was engulfed in darkness. Without even a small candle to light the way, Cairo very skillfully found the Emperor’s bedroom.

“Ugh…”

The knights guarding the front had their breath cut off before they could even see his face. Perhaps that was a gesture of consideration.

When Cairo barged in, the Emperor’s anger would be directed entirely at them, so wouldn’t it be better for him to send them off neatly rather than them suffering a terrible fate?

Passing by those who had died without even making a sound, Cairo looked down at the Emperor who was sleeping, oblivious to the world.