IRE Chapter 19

“Calm down, Mother. It’s not like I got hurt because I wanted to.”

“That’s why I’m telling you to be more careful. How does it make sense to try to fight eight War Hammers alone? You should have run away.”

“Eight War Hammers?!”

The cat sisters exclaimed.

It seemed they had been unaware of that fact until now.

“Hehehe, now do you have a sense of how amazing I am?”

For some reason, I bragged, expecting a certain reaction in the next moment, but it had no effect.

Esrin made a fuss.

“Oh my gosh, are you crazy?! You fought against eight War Hammers?!”

“Yes, yes, this child was so reckless that he fought them alone.”

“Alone? Eldmir, how are you even alive?!”

No, now they’re treating me like a ghost.

I knew this would happen. Damn it.

“Hey, hey, stop making a fuss. As long as I’m alive and well, what’s the big deal?”

“What do you mean, what’s the big deal? And you’re not well at all! Your clothes are soaked in blood!”

When I checked my condition again at those words, it was indeed as she said.

I hadn’t been aware of it due to the absence of pain, but once I became conscious of it, the pain gradually began to rise.

Not only the pain but also the thought of rewrapping the bandages made me feel troublesome.

Cold sweat ran down my back, but Eldmir pretended to be nonchalant.

“First, calm down. The important thing is that I’m alive, and they are all dead. I won. Understand?”

“…Oh my gosh.”

Eldmir emphasized the fact that he had won and that he had defeated them all.

Of course, half of them were taken down by other Sentinels, but since I had already taken care of most of them anyway, it wasn’t exactly a lie.

In response, Esrin and her sisters were left speechless, looking at Eldmir with an expression as if they had seen a ghost.

Averting his gaze from the sisters, Eldmir glared at Esiria.

‘Why did you have to bring up such unnecessary information to the kids?’

‘So if you don’t want to create a situation like this next time, do better.’

An exchange of glances between mother and son took place, and Eldmir finally let out a sigh.

The old saying that no parent can win against their child was completely wrong.

How could a child ever win against a parent?

This was how tightly he was bound by a single word from his mother.

“Do you understand? I’m such an amazing person. So don’t worry about anything and wait here quietly. I’ll have a little chat with this person here and come back.”

Leaving those words behind, Eldmir discreetly gestured to Irian.

Irian, who had been observing their interactions from a step behind, nodded and opened the door to leave.

Seeing Eldmir about to follow him, Cerisne called out to stop him.

“Um, Eldmir.”

“Yes?”

Cerisne hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“Actually, we could hear it even from here. The words you shouted outside.”

“Oh… Really?”

They heard all the commotion?

Eldmir felt strangely embarrassed. Then he quietly pondered if he had said anything unnecessary.

To him, Cerisne blushed and said awkwardly.

“…Thank you.”

“Huh?”

“I said thank you. Actually, we’re nothing to you… We were just one of the passing enemies.”

Seeing her mumbling in a soft voice with her head lowered, Eldmir chuckled.

At that moment, he noticed Esiria gesturing to him with her eyes and leaving the room.

In response to his mother’s gaze, signaling him to console her tactfully, Eldmir obediently nodded and said,

“What brought this on all of a sudden?”

“Wha… I’m trying to express my gratitude, and you!”

Cerisne raised her head and exclaimed.

Her face was flushed as red as a ripe tomato.

“You’re the strange one! Just as that elf said, we are your enemies. Even now, somewhere out there, the beastkin might be fighting against your fellow elves! Not everyone can regard us as… as guests like you do.”

“Well, I don’t think what I did was as difficult as you think. Since I was able to do it, I prefer to believe that anyone can do the same thing.”

He lifted his foot that was near the door and slowly approached her. Then he placed his hand on top of her head and roughly ruffled her hair.

“Eep.”

At his touch, Cerisne’s ears perked up.

The movement of her startled yet tensed muscles was fully transmitted to the blade and fingers of his hand.

It was a surprisingly soft sensation.

“It’s just that if my actions can hold great meaning to someone… Like how a simple act of ‘doing’ on my part, which is nothing special to me, can become ‘help’ to you.”

“…How can you do that?”

“Do what?”

“What you said. Just as that elf’s parents experienced, someone close to you could also face a similar fate because of us. Aren’t you afraid of that?”

Her large eyes were trembling with anxiety.

Like a young child fearing being scolded, she was trembling with unease.

“Haha…”

Laughing softly, he pondered how to respond.

He thought and thought about how to console this small, considerate girl who had many thoughts and, consequently, many anxieties.

“You don’t need to bear the burden of your race’s karma, Cerisne.”

“…!”

Eldmir lowered his body for a moment to meet Cerisne’s gaze.

Slightly startled by his closeness, she soon quietly gazed back at him.

By looking into her eyes, he could see it.

He could see how much weight she was carrying, how she was fighting under the pressure of self-condemnation bordering on self-torture.

He saw her constantly suffering, just like his past self.

“The reason you are royalty is simply because you are strong, no, because you are a War Beast. That’s all there is to it. If that weren’t the case, they proved what would happen. Despite being such a race, you have an unusually strong sense of responsibility.”

Her race had already betrayed her once.

Following their racial instincts, they had overthrown the weak and bared their fangs to prove themselves as the strongest beings.

Nevertheless, she still thought as royalty and acted as a princess.

She was still the princess of the beastkin, and the princess of an already fallen race was lonely, binding herself.

And above all, she didn’t need to feel guilty.

Even though they were her fellow tribesmen, those who were supposed to be her kin had already bared their fangs at her, and it was fair to say that she, too, was a victim.

Despite that, she was shouldering the guilt of her race’s wrongdoings as if they were her own.

“Little one, whether you regain the power of the gods, revive your race, or whatever you do, I may not be in a position to say anything, but there’s one thing I know better than anyone.”

“…”

“Don’t let guilt consume you. Their wrongdoings are theirs, not your fault. What you need is not to waste your emotions on them, but to look out for yourself from now on.”

“…”

“Think about what is truly precious to you and find what you truly consider valuable. Whether it’s your sisters or your dream that even you are unaware of. If your dream is indeed to rebuild your race, well… I suppose it’s fine to feel a little bit of responsibility.”

Shrugging his shoulders, he straightened his posture again. Then he gently patted her shoulder.

“You stubborn and kind girl, it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. Just as I help you for my own sake, include a little bit of ‘you’ in your principles of action.”

“…”

He glanced at the other sisters around.

Ersi, Esrin, Ketrit.

He looked at each of them and smiled brightly.

“Aren’t I afraid? Of course I am. Even at this very moment, somewhere out there, your race might be harming my kin.”

At those words, Cerisne’s trembling was felt through his hand on her shoulder.

Eldmir, tapping her shoulder, removed his hand.

“But so what? You guys are separate from them. You wouldn’t do that, right? Then that’s all that matters. What’s there to worry about?”

Separate from them, I believe it is right to help you.

Separate from them, I can consider you as friends.

You and they are separate entities.

That’s what Eldmir said.

“Was that a satisfactory answer? I hope so.”

With those final words, he ruffled her hair as if hugging her head and left the room.

Left in the room, she touched her head where his hand had passed and gazed at the spot where he had disappeared.

He had ruffled her hair as if embracing it, and her head was flushed bright red.

***

Irian and Mother were already seated and engaged in a conversation.

I had told them to wait as I wanted to talk first, but it seemed to have taken a little longer than expected.

Seeing me sit beside Mother, Irian greeted me with a nod.

“How far did the conversation go?”

“Well, I was explaining to him how we came to meet Cerisne and the others and why we are treating those children as guests.”

“Ah, starting from there?”

So they didn’t even listen to the story during the two days I was unconscious.

Clicking my tongue inwardly, I sat down next to Mother, and Irian looked at me.

“Eldmir, I won’t bother with petty talk at this point about how we should eliminate those beastkin or how they are the kin of my parents’ enemies. As you said, that is merely my personal grudge, and to you, they may simply be guests you need to guide.”

Upon his declaration of leaving behind the long-standing grudge, I thought there might be a chance for the conversation to go well.

As I began to feel a glimmer of hope, Irian spoke again.

“That’s why I want to hear your thoughts once more. Just as I harbor personal resentment towards them, other elves may not be much different from me. Even if they don’t have the same grudge as I do, they have their usual relationships with them. Eldmir, how were you able to welcome them as guests?”

Irian looked into my eyes with a solemn expression, as if he must hear this answer.

It was understandable for him to have such doubts.

It was no coincidence that the three Sentinels of El Rien were hostile towards Cerisne and her group and couldn’t understand me, nor was it because of their violent temperament.

And it wasn’t about conventions or anything else.

It was simply because that was the natural way of the world, and that was why they acted as they did.

“Your concern is valid. In the eyes of other elves, it may seem as if I have lost my mind and am leading enemies into the forest.”

I first nodded, acknowledging his words.

“There should be no enemies of the elves among my guests. If anything goes wrong, it could lead to a situation that threatens our village, our kin, and even the World Tree.”

Having said that, I laughed softly.

It was a kind of sneer and self-mockery.

“However, my thoughts differ from yours. Overall, it’s true that the beastkin are our enemies. That’s undeniable. But are those children also our enemies just because they are beastkin? No, they’re not.”

I directly met Irian’s gaze as he looked at me.

“Thanks to the Sentinels, the peace of the forest is being maintained. I am not unaware of that hard work. Considering how our brothers have dedicated themselves to the forest for hundreds of years, I can’t express enough gratitude even if I do so ten thousand times. But you know what? Why have we only known how to protect and nothing else all this time?”

At that sudden point, Irian’s eyes narrowed.

“Unable to do anything other than protect? What do you mean by that?”

“It’s either just protecting or occasionally invading and retaliating, isn’t it? Isn’t that too barbaric for the way of the elves, who are supposed to be the symbol of harmony?”

“What do you… Our pride is proven by history. In the past, we attempted to interact with other races numerous times to spread our teachings, showed mercy to those who invaded the forest, and even propagated the benefits of the forest to beings outside the forest. And you disparage our ways?”

Irian, perhaps unintentionally raising his voice in excitement, took a deep breath and continued speaking in a slightly calmer tone.

“Those words are tantamount to insulting our entire race. They imply that you have forgotten your own identity.”

Irian retorted in a clear voice.

However, there was no anger in his voice, only the will to logically refute my thoughts.

It was a reaction that came from questioning one’s own beliefs.

But I shook my head.

“You are misunderstanding the gist of my words. Although I am still a youngster who has not even undergone the coming-of-age ceremony, I am also a proper elf who has been raised with the teachings of the forest. I am not unaware of the mercy that elves bestow upon the enemies of the forest. However.”

Should I say it?

A small doubt arose in my mind.

This was one of the questions and conflicts I had been pondering and harboring for 20 years while being born and raised in an elven village.

I had doubts about the elven race and thoughts that others might consider absurd and dangerous.

For the first time, I began to slowly put into words the thoughts I had kept in my heart.

“What I’m saying is… We are elves, aren’t we? A race that values harmony, not beastkin, orcs, or anything else, right?”

And finally, the frustration and questions I had been harboring for a long time flowed out of my mouth.

“Since when did such a race… transform into one so insular?”