EVS Chapter 100

Sa-yoon decided to kill Noah when the boy confessed that he had tried to stab himself. For a moment, Sa-yoon’s mind went blank, while somewhere in his brain, he heard the sound of a lock clicking into place. He realized that his goal and Noah’s wish were on the same line.

Noah wanted to die, and Sa-yoon had to kill him. Beneath this simple yet weighty fact lay many buried truths.

First, unless one has reached a singularity state, death is frightening to everyone.

It’s not for nothing that death is invoked when threats are needed. Most people fear what they haven’t experienced and are afraid of losing the time they’ve accumulated. Death marks the extreme point of this fear, so unless one is like Sa-yoon who has died multiple times or has longed for death for a long time, the fear of death is universal.

So it would be the same for the young Noah.

Sa-yoon knew better than anyone how terrifying the first death could be, faced with trembling hands.

Second, death might not end with just once.

As Noah possessed a trait similar to Sa-yoon’s, there was a high probability that suicide wouldn’t bring the end he desired. Sa-yoon didn’t want to see this young boy choose death for himself only to be revived.

Perhaps it was fear. The art of raising a broken person was one skill he hadn’t mastered even after repeated deaths.

Sa-yoon wasn’t confident he could console Noah if he collapsed in despair.

Third, with his help, Noah could find peaceful rest.

Having killed more people than anyone else, Sa-yoon could confidently call himself an expert when it came to murder. Therefore, he could kill Noah painlessly. He could grant him rest before he even realized death, and ensure it wouldn’t be repeated.

In other words, he could make sure there would be no revival after death.

Noah’s death would directly lead to quest completion, which would also clear the dungeon.

So he was willing to kill him if that’s what he wanted.

To help him meet his end comfortably, without wasting emotions and life on unnecessary struggles.

He was willing to help.

“…What do you mean?”

“I’m saying that if you want, I’ll help you reach your end.”

“…”

“To make sure you don’t fail to kill yourself.”

He stroked Noah’s head as he answered. The large eyes blinked slowly as if asking for an explanation, but having nothing more to add, Sa-yoon withdrew his hand and lightly tapped the boy’s cheek with the back of his hand.

What would the real you have been like?

Suddenly, he wondered what Noah was like in the actually destroyed world, not this virtual one. Since people don’t change easily, his attempt at suicide after receiving the system window probably wasn’t much different then and now. What he was curious about was what came after.

How did you feel when you realized you couldn’t die?

How did you live, and what end did you meet?

Despite clearing dozens of fields, Sa-yoon had never seen anyone resembling Noah in the destroyed worlds.

Whether he disappeared along with the world or met his end by the system, Sa-yoon had no way of knowing. As he regretted this and pondered, Noah turned his head. His gaze fell on the empty air. A parchment, its origin unknown, was floating in the air.

Noah seemed to have grown accustomed to it in just a few days, no longer startled or turning pale. He was just scanning the parchment with familiar, or perhaps weary, eyes. That look was familiar.

He shouldn’t have such eyes already.

Faced with eyes that resembled his own, Sa-yoon unconsciously thought this and smiled self-deprecatingly.

“…Do I have to die?”

The answer that came after a while was somewhat unexpected. He didn’t expect such a doubt from someone who had thought of killing himself.

I thought he would naturally ask to be killed.

“Don’t you want to die?”

The words uttered amidst doubt had a subtly falling intonation at the end, making the meaning ambiguous. Sa-yoon didn’t bother to correct the statement that could be interpreted in two ways. After all, both questions – whether he wanted to die and whether he hadn’t wanted to die – were things he was curious about.

Noah tensed his brow, seeming a bit confused by the consecutive questions. Despite his young age, wrinkles were already starting to form on his forehead. Sa-yoon habitually raised his hand to smooth out the child’s furrowed brow.

“…I don’t want to die.”

At the sound of his voice, Sa-yoon stopped smoothing Noah’s brow and lowered his hand to meet the child’s gaze directly.

“Then.”

“But…”

“Speak.”

“…But, I feel like I have to die.”

In the end, it became a case of answering his own question. Whether he had clearly realized his situation after repeated thoughts, Noah’s eyes sank as he answered that he felt he had to die. Sa-yoon calmly gazed at the eyes filled with gloom, then crouched down to meet the gaze of the boy who was looking up at him, his neck craned to the point of pain.

“Did a quest appear?”

“A quest?”

“I mean, did that paper order you to do something new?”

“…It didn’t order anything new.”

“Then why?”

The truncated question didn’t form a complete shape. Noah hesitated for a moment before giving his answer.

“It just said it would be good if I did it quickly.”

“Did what?”

“The task it ordered. If not, bad things would happen…”

Bad things would happen if the quest wasn’t progressed? The situation was different from his own, where forced execution was suddenly added. It explained a bit more kindly and quite indirectly. Seeing such a system window displayed for a child not even thirteen years old, it seemed there was at least a minimal level of humanity.

Of course, it could be because this was the early stages of destruction, or to make things progress more smoothly.

But isn’t it easier to think whatever you prefer?

Even while making such assumptions, Sa-yoon added another question out of potential anxiety.

“Did any numbers appear?”

“Numbers?”

“I’m asking if there was anything more below the text saying bad things would happen.”

His tone became somewhat stiff as unpleasant memories surfaced. Noah casually examined the parchment as if not particularly concerned, then let out a small exclamation of “Ah.” Despite the faint voice, Sa-yoon felt his fingertips grow cold.

“No numbers appeared, but there is other text written. It says…”

Please do it within an hour.

Noah’s voice answering thus made Sa-yoon’s mind go blank.

An hour?

It was too short.

Forget what he said about humanity. Frowning at why the system that had given at least 24 hours had become so impatient, Sa-yoon was about to ponder the reason but stopped, looking strangely at Noah who seemed even more composed than himself.

It was puzzling how he had become so normal in such a short time, when just moments ago he had been trembling with anxiety and feeling depressed.

“…What is it?”

The boy asked, perhaps feeling awkward under Sa-yoon’s stare.

“…Earlier you looked like you were about to bawl your eyes out, but now you don’t seem scared anymore.”

“I am scared.”

“You look too normal for someone who’s scared.”

“I am scared…”

It didn’t convince him at all. As Sa-yoon was about to retort, asking how could a kid who’s scared to death have such an expression, Noah, who had been fidgeting with his interlocked hands, looked at Sa-yoon and opened his mouth.

“I’m scared, but… I feel better after what you said.”

“What did I say?”

“You said you’d kill me.”

“…”

The words he uttered while slightly curling his lips weren’t something to be said with a smile. However, seeing him curl the corners of his eyes as if he genuinely felt better, it didn’t seem to be a lie either. It was all truth, without a hint of exaggeration or fabrication.

Unable to misunderstand the meaning of his words – that he felt better because Sa-yoon had agreed to kill him – Sa-yoon’s lips twitched before he let out a bitter laugh.

He had been worrying about what to do if Noah said he wanted to keep living.

Living on would only tire him more. The system window would continue to pressure Noah, and his mind would wear down more and more. He had been pondering how to phrase it, to explain that once the system window for destruction appeared, the life ahead would only contain shallow hope and distant despair, but it had been needless worry.

In Sa-yoon’s view, Noah had already made up his mind.

As if to prove this fact, the boy continued speaking.

“After an hour passes, other people will die, right?”

“…”

“For everyone in the castle not to die, I have to kill you, but I can’t do that.”

“Why can’t you? You just need to stab.”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

The boy frowned deeply and pouted his lips, as if feeling disappointed. It almost looked like he was throwing a tantrum.

“So, I think me dying is the right answer. But actually, I didn’t really want to die. So when I held the sword, I was so scared…”

His voice, which had become faint, broke off for a moment before becoming clear again.

“I’m glad you said that.”

“…”

“But I also feel sorry for you.”

This was another unexpected statement. As Sa-yoon straightened his head to ask why he felt sorry, Noah, who had grasped Sa-yoon’s hand as he crouched in front of him, hesitated before adding.

“Just like I don’t want to die, you don’t want to kill me either, right?”

“…”

“That’s why you told me to pretend I didn’t see it, right? …You knew, didn’t you?”

You knew this would happen, but you pretended not to know for my sake, right?

It was an incredibly naive voice. Even so, it seemed more like he was stating his opinion rather than asking for an answer, so Sa-yoon kept his mouth shut. Unable to give any answer, he maintained his silence. Noah took a deep breath as if organizing his thoughts, then slowly exhaled and smiled brightly.

“Thank you, hyung.”

It was a resolute greeting that showed no sign of wavering.