“Ah, haah…”

    As Matthias gently nibbled on the side without causing pain while lifting his T-shirt, a mix of ticklishness and a strange pleasure arose. The warmth of his breath around the navel caused my thigh and calf muscles to contract. I could feel Matthias’s hot, rigid member through the pajama pants. Unconsciously, my hand reached towards his penis. But before that, Matthias moved his body down. He grabbed my pajama pants and underwear and pulled them down in one go.

    “Ah, Matthias…!”

    In confusion, I fumbled in the darkness, pulling the blanket towards me. However, Matthias, who had burrowed under the blanket, did not hesitate to open his mouth and take in the penis.

    “Ahh…!”

    The sensation of the moist and warm mucous membrane touching the glans made me squirm. It was a sensation that never became familiar, no matter how often I experienced it. Matthias licked around the glans with his tongue while quickly moving his hand up and down the shaft.

    “Ah, Matthias, just a little, slowly…!”

    My mind was muddled with the desire for it to continue forever and for everything to end right then. The urge to urinate and the sensation of approaching climax were coming at the same time.

    “Uh, ah… Matthias, I…”

    “It’s okay, go ahead.”

    Leaving only those words, Matthias took the penis into his mouth as deep as it could go. As he began to suck vigorously, making his cheeks concave, the sensation of the sensitive penis being tightly squeezed was vividly transmitted. The sound of wetness accompanied each root stimulation by his tensed, wriggling tongue. The inner thighs that Matthias held were trembling. I twisted my waist, trying to endure it, but I couldn’t hold back. Eventually, I ejaculated inside Matthias’s mouth.

    “Ugh, ah, no…!”

    Pushing Matthias’s forehead away, I hurriedly pulled out the penis. With a pop sound, the penis slipped out of his lips, but some of the semen had already entered his throat. The tip, which hadn’t finished ejaculating, spasmed lengthily, spraying semen over Matthias’s face.

    “S-sorry!”

    In my flutter, I stuttered and turned on the lamp. As the room brightened, the scene in front of me was revealed. Streaks of cloudy white fluid adorned Matthias’s cheeks, lips, and eyelids. I panicked, I reached for a tissue, but Matthias snatched it from my hand.

    “It’s okay, I’ll do it.”

    “Sorry…”

    Matthias gave a small smile at my downcast demeanor.

    “If you were that sorry, you could have just let me swallow it.”

    “How could I… It wouldn’t taste good.”

    “Hmm, is that so?”

    Matthias’s pink tongue swiftly licked the white fluid beside his lips.

    “What are you doing!”

    “It’s not that bad.”

    “You’re silly!”

    I quickly grabbed two more tissues and threw them over Matthias’s face. Laughing softly, Matthias headed to the bathroom with the tissues in hand.

    After cleaning up, Matthias returned and covered me with a blanket as if tucking in a child.

    “We should sleep now…”

    I grabbed the hem of Matthias’s pajamas, pulling him closer. Our lips briefly met, and then Matthias’s mouth opened again. There was a fresh scent, probably from just brushing his teeth. After nibbling on Matthias’s plump lower lip, I pulled away with a pop sound. Matthias, slightly embarrassed but pleased, asked,

    “Why, you want to do it again?”

    “No, it’s your turn now.”

    I pointed out Matthias’s still erect penis.

    “I’m okay.”

    “Why? It’s so hot.”

    “It’s fine.”

    Matthias shook his head in embarrassment. Ignoring his words, I pulled on the neatly tied ribbon. The knot unraveled effortlessly. Matthias stopped my hand as it moved towards his waistband.

    “I’m really okay. We don’t have to.”

    Ignoring his words, I pulled down his pants. Matthias’s stiff, hot penis sprung out.

    “Ah…”

    As I stroked the tip, Matthias moaned deeply, making his earlier protests seem meaningless. Emboldened, I wrapped my hand around his penis.

    “Ugh…”

    Why does he resist when he clearly enjoys it?

    As I moved to take him in my mouth, Matthias pushed me away.

    “Stop!”

    He was so forceful that I fell backward, legs in the air. I lay there sprawled out, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Matthias, looking flustered, approached me. I thought he might apologize, but his words were even more astonishing.

    “See, I told you I was okay.”

    “What?”

    I couldn’t help but let out a disbelieving laugh.

    “Look, are you hurt?”

    It was like giving with one hand and taking away with the other. Angrily, I slapped his hand away. Matthias looked at me with a bewildered expression, having been struck on the back of his hand.

    “What’s gotten into you lately?”

    “What do you mean?”

    His voice faltered, and his eyes narrowed as if he had hit a nerve.

    “Why do you only want to give, not receive?”

    “When have I ever done that?”

    It was as if he hadn’t been doing it since he came here!

    “Whenever I try to give, you say it’s okay, or you push me away.”

    “I’m sorry for pushing you. But I just wasn’t in the mood today.”

    “Just today? No, let’s be clear. You’ve been like this ever since you came here.”

    Matthias seemed obsessively focused on my satisfaction every night, seemingly indifferent to his own pleasure.

    “Why are you doing this, really?”

    “It’s not like that.”

    “Stop beating around the bush and just tell me.”

    As I pressed for an answer, Matthias looked at me pleadingly. His look made me feel uncomfortable as if I were the one at fault.

    “Ah, Lee Hyun… please.”

    “Is it something you can’t even talk about?”

    Matthias hung his head low. His tightly closed lips seemed both frustrated and angry. Seeing him like that drained me of my resolve.

    “Fine, have it your way.”

    I pulled the blanket up to my chin and turned away from Matthias. Despite knowing I was upset, he made no move to appease me. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel his gaze on me, sitting up and looking down. I had been stressed and exhausted from overworking, and after the climax, sleepiness and fatigue swept over me. I drifted off to sleep without realizing it.

    I woke briefly to find Matthias had wrapped his arms around me from behind. The gentle touch stroking my hair felt so tender it was almost saddening. I breathed deeply to hold back tears. The warmth from his body behind me was comforting. After a bit of heartache, I fell back asleep.

    I awoke to a strangely cool sensation, reaching out without opening my eyes to where Matthias should have been, only to find his side of the bed empty.

    “Matthias?”

    I called out his name in a panic and sat up straight, but he was nowhere to be found. My heart started to race with anxiety. Where could he have gone? It was still early, and people were likely around. I stepped out of the bedroom without putting on slippers, and the sunlight poured in. Shielding my eyes, I wandered the living room uneasily until I spotted something on the dining table.

    Dishes of my favorite side dishes, like soybean paste stew and rolled omelet, were fully prepared on the table. It seemed like Matthias had made them. My eyes then drifted towards the rice cooker.

    “Kept warm for an hour…”

    The display showed the time since the keep-warm function had started. It was eleven now, so he must have left around ten. I turned on my phone to call him, but then remembered Matthias didn’t have a phone.

    “Where did you go?”

    As I bit my lip out of habit, a note in front of a rice bowl caught my eye.

    [I went out for a bit. Have some food and rest. Sorry about last night.]

    Seeing the clumsily written Korean made me feel a sudden surge of emotion. Everything must still be so new and challenging for him. Had I been too harsh last night? I felt a pang of guilt. I decided to look for him.

    The door opened just as I was about to leave with a coat hastily thrown on.

    “Mathia… Cesare?”

    Expecting Matthias, I called out his name loudly, but then I saw Cesare’s platinum hair. Cesare greeted me with a slight smile.

    “I guess Matthias told you to check on me, knowing this would happen.”

    “Did you meet Matthias?”

    “He came by the house. Said he had some business outside and to stay with you, Lee Hyun. I got held up with some work, though. You must’ve been quite bored, huh?”

    I’m not a child, after all…

    I frowned, and Cesare pulled me gently towards him with a soft smile.

    “Let’s eat first, Lee Hyun.”

    Reluctantly, I sat at the table, and Cesare went to the kitchen to warm up the rolled omelet.

    “Try this.”

    I looked at the food in front of me. Steam was gently rising from the rolled omelet. Taking a big bite, I savored the fluffy texture of the perfectly cooked egg.

    “It’s good.”

    Just a week ago, there were issues with shells in the food, or it was too sweet or too salty. I wondered when his cooking skills had improved so much.

    “What happened?”

    Seeing my troubled expression, Cesare asked with concern. But I didn’t feel like opening up to him.

    “Cesare.”

    “Yes, Lee Hyun. Tell me.”

    “What have you been up to these days?”

    “I usually sleep during the day… And at night, I’m busy wandering the streets.”

    “Wandering the streets at night? Isn’t that dangerous?”

    “Um, no. Nighttime is better. If I wear a cap and a hoodie, people don’t really pay attention.”

    I tried to picture Cesare in a cap and hoodie. Would it look sloppy? Or maybe trendy? It was hard to imagine. But then, what does it matter if it suits him or not? It’s not like he’s wearing it to make a fashion statement.

    I paused from eating and looked at Cesare with a complex expression. Noticing my gaze, Cesare tapped the tip of my nose lightly.

    “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but stop worrying, Lee Hyun. I’m really okay.”

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